Music is Life

What does music mean to you? For me it equates to life. At my lowest it picks me up and at my best it maintains my flow. Taste runs eclectic, from Motown to Slipknot, and falling anywhere in between. When the demons are nipping I turn to something that shreds my brain into submission. The Dark needs to be drowned away into the Light so jammin at a high decibel is a must. Hard rock is my favorite but there is a time and place for all of it.

There were mornings in the not so distant past when getting up was a struggle. It can be nearly impossible to understand unless you’ve been there. Guilt, stress, anxiety, and self-loathing penetrate my brain as muscle memory pummels my existence. Your eyes open and the first thought is ‘why fucking bother? I am worth nothing to this world.’ 35 years of substance abuse was a breeze compared to the ensuing 5 years of opiate/suboxone torture. Self-inflicted, it left me with a void where my soul resided. My rekindled faith in God is refilling the abyss. Music is the passion that accelerates this process. Laying there, fighting the fight, an amazing thing happens. A song starts playing in my head and I can feel God’s nudge. I get to the PC and Slipknot’s ‘Duality’ is waitin for me…

I push my fingers into my eyes…
It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache…

This leads to ‘Gone Sovereign/Absolute Zero’. Corey Taylor has a wide range to his voice and totally understands the dark side of life. From there I can slowly climb down the ladder, the edge fading into the distance. The transgression of music takes me through Seether, Shinedown (Lots of Shinedown, the acoustic stuff is amazing. They may be my favorite ever.), System of a Down and many others. (including Amy Winehouse. Why am I attracted to people like her, Chester and Cornell?) In fact, most of the bands I love have fought through some form of life’s darker side. I listen to music all day. The important thing is winning the battle, staying clean, and moving forward. Audioslave’s ‘Show me how to live’ is blastin right now. 

When I can bounce up in the morning I start with ‘feel good’ music that keeps a smile going. Usually this is some loud, headbanging stuff. This gets me hopping around the kitchen like a fool, albeit, a happy fool. If I didn’t draw the shades my neighbors would think I’m having a seizure. This how I transformed my body on several occasions in my life; Dancing cardio with full body crunches while banging out loud rock. These are the best workouts I’ve ever had. Seether’s ‘Fine Again’ is jammin.

Theory of a Deadman has a song called Medicate. I can’t get away from this song. It makes so much sense that I have to write about it. The song covers a part of my life that I would like to forget but never will. It’s important that I never forget what a miserable existence that truly was. Alter Bridge’s ‘Addicted to Pain’ is crankin.

I love thousands of songs and there isn’t enough room here to list them all. There is no right or wrong choice with music. Find whatever turns you on and play it like crazy. Like life, there are many paths to take in music. Hopefully, they can lead us all to the same place, that place we’re all striving toward. For me this means inner peace. How about you? As I finish this Audioslave’s ‘Be Yourself’ is playin. Coincidence? I don’t believe in coincidence, only Fate.